Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I’m in a need of a Reset. I started off the year really strong- I was feeling positive, stress under control, and excited for the year ahead. But the last couple of weeks I’ve kind of slid back into my old ways- negative thinking, anxious and stressed, and worried about the future.

No doubt this stupid rib injury is partially the cause- it threw off my routine, changed my plans, cancelled my training. I’ve decided to run a shorter race at Lost Dutchman next month (not sure which distance) and that’s not that big of a deal. I was a little disappointed but there’s plenty more marathons in the future. But the injury in general caused me stress and anxiety. I had to go to the doctor which I do not like, I had all kinds of worse-case-scenarios running through my head. I’m a big catastrophic worst-case-scenario person these days. It’s an awful waste of energy!! Thankfully there was nothing major wrong, and now the muscle strain is healing up and feeling better every day (well, most days. It’s a little sore today). I’ve been able to resume running and yoga, which is great. No climbing yet but I can handle that.

There have been a few other life events going on that have contributed to my stress- Zach was gone a lot for work and to see his parents this month which I don’t deal with well (he was on a week-long work trip when I found out my mom had cancer last year… so that’s basically the explanation of my issue there) although I got through it just fine and ended up having fun with my friends and spending quality alone time meditating, going to the art museum, taking photos at Council Crest!

We’ve also begun the long and overwhelming process of buying a house. Enough said, right? I’m totally excited, and we are all set financially, but still. Stress. I need to get a grip on this because it is going to take months to find a house, take care of all the paperwork and details, give away all our money, move, get settled, etc..

Finally, there is the ongoing recovery of Zach’s dad and stepmom from the motorcycle accident in November. They are doing SO good- William is home finally and getting around on his own like a champ (no small thing after two badly broken feet and a broken arm). Melanie is fully awake and as of this week can finally talk (they had that trach tube in which prevented speech) and it looks like she’s going to be ok. It’s a miracle. Even those there has been nothing but positive developments, it is still a LOT to handle. There is a long way to go still and we have to be patient. I still get really emotional about it, and we are still dealing with a lot of financial/insurance/legal stuff on their behalf. Zach visited them in San Diego and it was great to hear how much better they were since we saw them days after the accident… but I think it would do me a world of good to see it for myself. We are planning a trip down there in March.


Ok I think that’s all the major stuff on my plate. That’s a lot when I write it all out like that. Plus all the other things of life- family, job, diet, money, friendships, travel plans, etc. It’s not even that I can’t handle all this stuff. I know I can. But I have to have my game face on! And by game face I mean…. My positive attitude. My energetic spirit. My big smile. I can’t just wallow in my self-pity and expect anything to get better. I can’t create extra drama for myself. I read something on a blog somewhere this week… totally forgetting the source… but the quote was “Don’t make life harder than it already is.” It spoke directly to me and my situation.

I need to reset. I need to re-embrace my New Year’s goal of being Positive and Optimistic. I need to spend the time caring for myself and relieving my stress. I can do this through yoga, meditation, talking with family and friends, journaling, spending time outdoors, eating healthfully, getting plenty of sleep. Running. 

And with that, I’m off to yoga. Thanks for reading. :)


Aron said...

good girl, you know what you need to do. Like you said, it's just a waste of energy to worry too much, especially about things that are out of our control. Keep that smile going and the positive attitude will follow! <3

Alisa said...

I've got lots to say but I think I'll just leave you with this-- :)!

AJ said...

nice post I hope that you will like mine and leave a comment. thanks.

Beth said...

You have had (and have) a lot going on, and a lot of stressful stuff. If you weren't feeling stressed that would probably be an indicator of there being something wrong! It sounds like Zach's parents are doing much better which Im sure will eventually take a load off.

Ewen said...

Have to agree that house-buying is stressful - at least if you buy 'pre-owned' you won't have to bother about the colour of the taps and tiles ;)

Glad to hear Zac's dad and step-mum are doing well. That must be a huge relief.

KK said...

Wow, life sure knows how to dole out huge shit sandwiches when it wants. Thankfully you have a good head on your shoulders and a wonderful support system. I am so glad to hear that Zach's Dad and stepmom are recovering and that you will get to see them in March. Sorry to hear about your ribs. Nothing worse than an injury that you feel every time you have to take a breath. Yowzers. Hang in there, Jen, sunny days are ahead! (Look on the bright side, at least you're not in the middle of IM training.) :)